How strange it is, this thing called life.

I reflect on my life and see that through my mistakes I found wisdom. I have at times taken a longer time to learn a lesson from some of the mistakes but none the less I did learn something that at some time in the future I was able to help someone through their rough spot in their life. There are times I wish that I had been wiser so that those pitfalls in my life would not have been something that I would have had to experience. The only thing is that if I walked a different path then that ripple in the walk through life would not just change me but it would also effect my children and those that have been in my life. Maybe I would not have met some of those people. Maybe my children would not have the lives they have now. What would life be like then? Would I have been the same person? Would my children be who they are? I think of these things but the problem with that is that I am where I am meant to be. So why think on these things. It is really a waste of time because it creates doubt, guilt, anger, revenge, sorrow and much more. I had this life because I chose for such a long time not to have the Lord on the throne of my heart. I know that through the things that I did that for some reason the Lord protected me even when I was choosing my own way. As I revisit my past there are things I have done that clearly showing that the Lord was not the first person that I spoke to for advise. I seemed to run on auto pilot which I see that when I was running my life in that matter I was opening the doors wide open so that the enemy could walk right in with out any problem. In fact, some may think that there was an invitation sent out so that it would be easy to come in for my life's party. Sadly, it was true that I was walking on the wide path to destruction. As age has come my way I am trying to draw closer to my Lord, Jesus Christ. Do I still make mistakes? Yes, but I am aware and bring it before the Lord and gain the forgiveness that was already given at the time of my salvation. So, I realize that I will make mistakes I will see them quicker so that I can bring that knowledge to my book where I have filed all the problems I have had but now I see the difference from my past and my present. The Lord has been with me through out all my life and has never been different, it is me that is different. I see where God was waiting for me and now I see God faster and able to see His hand so clearly. Does that mean that I am prefect ? NO, it is that I try my best to make better choices and have more confidence. How strange it is, this thing called life.