I have missed a lot.

My handsome little man, Lucas. I haven't seen him since he was 8 months. I have missed so much of his growing up. His mother took him and moved out of state then divorced my oldest son. The unfortunate thing is that she has used Lucas as a weapon. I am sure that he doesn't even know who I am. His mother has kept him from me and the rest of the family. I pray that the Lord will bring him back into my life and mostly his daddy's. I wish I had the money so that I could get a lawyer to get my grandparents rights. Then I could get to know him and show him that I have missed him so much. I don't know anything about him. I don't know what he likes. What he likes to do. It is really heart breaking. I have to be honest that I have been cheated out of my role in his life. I just have to keep faith in knowing that the Lord wants me to be in his life. To love him, hug him, and do fun things. To watch him grow up.

The sweetest little girls that I know. My wonderful granddaughters. I cannot believe that my little Cadence will be 3 years old very soon. Just 2 days before my birthday. Then my Veronica is going to be 5 years old in January on the same day as their Uncle Willy and Uncle Andrew. In fact, my father was also born on that day. If he were alive I know that he would have loved having his great granddaughter born on the same day as him.

I remember when Veronica was born. Unfortunately I was not able to be there. I was very sick with pneumonia so it would not have been wise. I wish I would have been able to be with my daughter when my first grandchild was born. Then when Cadence was born again I was not able to be there.At times I feel that I have failed as a mother and grandmother. I have missed out on a lot of firsts with them. In fact, they really don't know me that well. I at times imagine what it would be like to have the money to buy them a new home with a mother in laws quarters so that I could live near them and get to know them better. To be honest I am just a bit jealous of my son in laws parents. They have a lot of time with them. I pray that one day, hopefully soon, I will have a close relationship with my granddaughters.